Let’s face the fact that being sexy in the bedroom can be hard if you are a plus-sized woman. This is exactly why we created this Plus Size and Sexy In The Bedroom: A Seductive Guide. You might be the most confident during a work presentation, but when it comes to bedroom matters, you will feel awkward due to your body size.
According to Jane Greer, Ph.D. and author of “What About Me? Stop Selfishness from Ruining Your Relationship” you should know your comfort levels and the limits you are willing to take to maxes yourself sexy in bed. But we understand that transitioning from a shy girl to a sexual goddess overnight can be difficult, especially if you are curvy or overweight. But with small tweaks at a time, you can improve your bedroom skills.
Your plus size figure is absolutely qualified to take your bedroom game to the next level. Unlike the 1950s, when sex was all about pleasing your man, the focus now is on both partners. And note that your partner doesn’t care much about your body size but what you can offer in bed. It’s possible to have the best body but still be poor in bed; it all comes to how we behave and what we’re willing to give to our partners during intimacy and sex.
But before trying some of the ideas we’ll include in this article, you should be open with your partner on sex matters. Many partners are simple when it comes to sex and you might be insecure with your body when they actually only care about a mind-blowing orgasm.
10 Ways to be Plus Size and Sexy in the Bedroom
1. Make yourself more attractive
The best way of making yourself sexier in the bedroom is to make your skin and body more attractive. This is the best idea for curvaceous or overweight ladies as it’ll help them improve their confidence. On a good day, find a unique perfume and especially those used in first dates, weddings, and business dinners. Apply this perfume on your skin before going to bed to increase your coolness. You should also apply essential oils to make your skin shinier and smoother.
2. Wear sexy clothes
Besides having a great curvaceous body, the way you dress also plays an important role in your bedroom sexiness. While wearing your regular nightdress could be the surest way to turn off your partner. On the other hand, a bra and underwear are just basic; therefore, look for laced or teasing lingerie that is as sexy as hell. It will help immerse you in the role of a seductress opines Ian Kerner, a sex therapist. But note that you don’t have to spend hundreds of dollars on lingerie; instead, you can find a cheap one that suits your tastes from Amazon and other top retailers. Adorning some sexy bedroom attire will help expose the sexiest features of your plus-sized curves that will turn your partner on.
Another challenge is you may be scared of walking around the house or talking to someone with a lace or satiny slip because of personal insecurities. But know that with this age of feminist and equality that vulnerability you feel could be your source of strength. Proudly wearing your lingerie you will show to the world that you are empowered and that you accept your body the way it is.
3. Play a celebrity character
Have fun by transforming yourself into a plus-sized version of Nicki Minaj. You can also try emulating other sexy outfits of popular plus-sized celebrities like Denise Bidot, Niecy Nash, Kelly Clarkson, or Jill Scott.
By emulating someone else who has the same body size as yours, you will unleash a sexual spirit that will help you get rid of insecurities arising from your current personality. Also, try talking dirty to your partner to spice things up. And even trace sexy words on your partner’s body with your finger. Words such as kiss and blowjob are some of the best ideas and if your partner guesses correctly, then treat him with the act; otherwise, do what seems right.
4. Set the mood
When you’re preparing yourself to have sex then having a sensual mood is important. A libido-pumping song would do; these are the songs that make you a bit wild and sensual when you listen to them. Or that song that makes you twerk wildly on a night club. There’s nothing as sexy and intimate than dancing for your partner in sensual positions. It will excite them. Besides, the voluptuousness of properly accentuated bodyparts will send shivers down their spine. Not only will the song make your partner sexually excited, but it’ll also hint to them that you need some now.
In addition to good music, add just enough light for your partner to watch and even participate in your moves. You can get plenty of reliable dimmer switches on Amazon that’ll play up your sex game.
5. Strip in slow motion
After you set the right mood, it’s now time to perform a choreographed striptease. Be confident of your body as your partner can easily detect if you’re not the alpha female or submissive kitten of your intention. Amazon carries a great selection of sexy bedroom wear to choose from. Remove one article of clothing at a time in a sensual way. Also, make eye contact with your partner as you show little bits of skin at a time while signaling that you want them badly. And don’t allow your partner to touch your curvaceous body until you remove every piece of clothing. This will make you feel like you are truly in control.
6. Maintain control
Take the reins! Experts say that taking control is one of the things partners want in bed. So feel free to control the show with your soft and sensual voice. Instruct them to do what pleases you and be specific with your demands as it will make them feel like they are the only ones who can satisfy your needs.
Start in the kitchen or living room by discussing things that affect your sex life without being in the act. And give compliments when necessary as it’ll help raise confidence if either of you doesn’t believe in your bedroom skills. Men, for example, can be very self-conscious about many aspects of their sex life, and once they start losing them, then their confidence diminishes. Besides, if you form the habit of regularly praising your man, then he will end up doing the same which will improve confidence in the bedroom.
7. Be vocal
Truth be told, most people love talking during sex. The groaning, breathing, and moaning can be a super hot turn-on! You get a chance to express to them what they need to do for you to get an orgasm. If you find it hard to talk during sex, then try talking first when you’re masturbating by making some noise. You will find it very exciting; now transfer this pleasure to sex for you two to enjoy it. When talking to your partner, choose the words carefully and ensure they’re either instructive, praising, or very hot. Next, tell them where you want to be touched, the intensity, and using what. From experience, you can learn what gives both of you the most pleasure.
8. Be honest and confident during sex
Sex is an ingredient to any relationship; it can help make or break it. Also, it is an important stress reliever, but it can also stress you. If your partner regularly complains of you denying them sex or only having it on special occasions like their birthday, then it’s probably time to be honest and tell them why you are withholding it.
Besides, one of the top factors that affect the sex life of many couples is called receptive desire. Some partners are also anxious about their body weight and may not prefer getting naked due to a lack of confidence in their attractiveness.
In case you are experiencing a lack of sexual desire, talking about sex with your partner will help. But you should both be willing to discuss the issues at hand without attacking or blaming one another. But the lower sex drive could also be a result of resentment, anger, or other deeper issues in your life. If that’s a legit possibility, then avoid using sex as a solution as it could end up inflicting more harm on your feelings. Therefore, if you are less comfortable discussing issues with your partner in the relationship, look for a therapist who will help both of you navigate the turbulent issues and reach an understanding between each other.
9. Porn isn’t always a big deal
Most couples seek therapist counsel if they find one partner watching pornography. However, Dr. Kort says that porn is of less concern and you should never overreact if you find your partner watching it. Childhood experiences affect the way an adult views sexuality and porn maybe just another avenue your partner uses to turn themselves on.
But it’s still not easy to accept it if you find out your partner getting aroused by watching another woman. Dr. Kort also recommends that you talk with your partner about porn; ask them what turns them on without any tone of anger. At the same time, this can be a good time to tell them how it turns you off. That way, you will set a good dialogue where you can maintain an honest conversation without destroying your love for each other. Try not to make them feel shameful – instead, seek out solutions which favor the two of you.
10. Embrace sex… it’s okay
Sometimes we accuse our partners of being sexually insatiable, but they want you to embrace it just like they do. Everyone has their own life which is full of personal and societal pressures and challenges. These can easily deny us the opportunity to get joy and pleasure derived from sex. Besides, most often, sex is at the bottom of our priorities, but seeing sex in a different way will help you tell the difference between what you have and what you lack.
Final Thoughts
There are tons of benefits you will derive from sex. For instance, an orgasm will trigger the release of oxytocin which brings you together with your partner. It also helps to reduce blood pressure, alleviate stress, and promote faster healing. And who would not want to enjoy these benefits?
Being sexy in your bedroom will bring a lot of positive effects on your sex life. If you spice up your bedroom game, more than likely, you will love the benefits that come with it. And although it’ may take time to build up your confidence, it will eventually pay off! Be sure to check out our top picks for other ideas.
