Sex. It’s a topic some men and women alike are still uncomfortable talking about, be that with their partners or even their doctors. As a plus-sized, curvy woman, you may have your own questions about plus size sex that you have been too afraid to ask. Can you still do all the positions? How do you deal with body insecurities? What about mobility?
Plus-sized or fuller-sized woman are not necessarily limited by what they can do when having sex, although some positions may be more comfortable and make you feel better about yourself than others. Above all, remembering that women of any size can have fun in the bedroom will take you far.
Ahead, we’ll answer all your most burning questions about sex as a curvy girl, including which positions you might want to try and ways to overcome those nagging body insecurities so you can let loose and have fun with your partner. Keep reading!
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Does Being Plus-Sized Limit Your Mobility?
Being somewhat limber in the bedroom is beneficial if you want to bend, twist, and turn your way to sexual satisfaction. Limberness though isn’t necessarily associated with slenderness, only how flexible and mobile you are.
As a plus-sized woman, you may have more meat on your bones, but this doesn’t necessarily have to impact your mobility. If you feel like you can’t quite lift your legs high enough or bend the way you want to when having sex, then we recommend taking up yoga. Choose some poses that will introduce the kind of flexibility you’re lacking in your life.
Then, each day or every other day, take a couple of minutes and begin doing these poses. Within a few weeks, you’ll notice you feel more limber and flexible. You could even find a new form of exercise you love.
After all, exercise is not all about losing weight. Any form of moving your body is good for you, and some–like yoga–can help in the bedroom, making them doubly worth doing!
Which Sex Positions Are Better Plus Size Sex?
You’re in the bedroom with your partner, but which sex positions should you try? You don’t want your breasts or stomach getting in the way, nor do you want your butt all up in everything. You also want to stick to something that will feel good and maybe looks flattering on your body at the same time.
To be clear, there are few if any sex positions that are off-limits to you as a curvy woman. That said, many plus-sized gals have reported that the following sex positions are especially great for them. As a caveat, these positions are for heterosexual couples. If you’re in a same-sex partnership, a few of these might apply, but you’ll otherwise have to get creative.
Here are some sex positions to do tonight!
The butterfly is easy for you, as you can just lay back and prepare to get your world rocked. Position yourself so your butt is near the end of the bed. Your man should stand right between your legs. Feel free to rest your legs on his shoulders if you’re so inclined or keep them against his chest.
Avoid bending your legs or wrapping them around your man’s waist. You want them up and flat so your breasts and stomach are unobstructed.
The standing pretzel is sort of like the butterfly, but with a few key changes. You want to begin the same way, with you lying down flat on the bed near the edge and your man standing at the edge of the bed. This time, he holds your right leg and lifts your left leg, which should naturally wrap around his body as he enters you.
You’ll feel good about this position, and so will your man, as he can get deeper inside you.
Here’s a unique take on the reverse cowgirl. With the thigh tide, your man lays down flat on the bed, this time, in the center. He lifts one leg so it’s bent at his knee. You should turn around so your back is facing him, settle into position, and you can grind against him for some non-PIV fun.
Missionary with a Pillow
No, this isn’t some new name for missionary sex. Literally, you want to take a pillow from the bed, scoot it beneath your rear, and then go to town. The elevation will make the sex feel better, and you’ll be a little more confident for it.
The leg glider is another fun one to try with your man some time. You want to lay down, but not flat on your back. Instead, lean towards the right or left. One leg should go right up and the other leg stays flat on the bed. Your man will get into position between your legs and you two have sex that way.
You can’t go wrong with the reverse cowgirl. You start this position the same way you do the thigh tide, only your man should keep both his legs down on the bed while you sit on top of him. If you’re self-conscious about your stomach or hips, the reverse cowgirl is a lifesaver.
The spoon is another classic, but it does take a rather well-endowed man to be able to pull it off. If that’s your partner, then you lay together with your body up against him, align yourselves, and he can find his way in. Sometimes this may take him angling his body to create a parallel to yours.
This is another one of those sex positions where you can keep your back turned but still have the time of your life.
Yes, that’s right, the doggy position for plus-sized women can work. This position keeps your stomach out of the way and again lets some parts you’re a little insecure about stay out of sight. Pillows underneath you will keep you propped up and comfortable.
If you’re feeling especially daring, you can also attempt the traditional cowgirl position. This one starts just like reverse cowgirl, only you enter your man while facing him rather than keeping your back to him. He’ll have a chance to worship and admire you, as he should!
Do Positions You’re Comfortable With
Your partner really wants to try the cowgirl, but you just don’t want to be bouncing up and down and letting everything jiggle and move. If you like the reverse cowgirl better, then opt for that. Perhaps you do no cowgirl position at all because you’re just not into it.
Don’t let your partner pressure you into a sexual position that makes you feel uncomfortable. Speak up and tell them you don’t want to do something before they start doing it. If you have a better suggestion in mind, then bring it up.
Also, know that you can always stop having sex at any point if the position you did choose is uncomfortable. Your partner should respect you and quit what they’re doing immediately.
How to Deal with Insecurities in the Bedroom
The mood is right, you’re both feeling great, and you’re about to have sex with your partner. The two of you are making out and you’re so into it, then they go to take off your shirt. Now you’re not so into it.
You can’t help but feel embarrassed about your body, especially if this is the first time you’re having sex with your partner. What if your partner doesn’t like how you look naked? What if they say something about it? What if the sex is bad?
The following tips will help you overcome your insecurities about your body and your performance.
Try Mood Lighting
Lots of women would prefer to have sex with the lights off, and not even necessarily plus-sized women. Remember, some slender women feel insecure about their bodies too, wishing they had larger breasts or a more sizable booty.
If you don’t want this sexual experience to be another one spent fumbling in the dark, you have other options. No, you don’t necessarily have to turn the lights on, at least not yet. Instead, introduce some mood lighting.
Whether you set your lights to half-brightness or burn some candles, this kind of lighting is a win-win. You still get some darkness so you feel comfortable, and the environment is now 10 times sexier.
Leave Some Clothes on at First
Another habit you might have is preferring to leave your clothes on when having sex. If you’d like to break out of this habit sooner than later, we have two suggestions. The first is to wear some clothes, but not to have sex fully-clothed.
For instance, maybe you ditch the underwear and wear a longer shirt, or you keep on a high-waisted skirt and no shirt or underwear. Leaving some clothes on can add to the thrill of sex, so have fun with it.
Wear Something Sexy
Another thing you can try if you’re not quite ready to bare it all is to spice things up slip into something sexier. Lingerie today does not necessarily have to leave everything hanging out. You can buy high-waisted panties that keep your tummy in, gorgeous bras with great support, full lacy bodysuits that hug and flatter your curves, or even a mysterious, wispy baby doll that hides your stomach and rear.
You’ll feel like a sexy princess, and your partner will love it too.
Work on Your Confidence Inside and Outside of the Bedroom
Think of your confidence as a seed that grows into a full-sized plant. Each time you wear a bomb outfit to the office, or rock gym clothes at your Pilates class or even slip into some lingerie for your partner, that seed grows. Before you know it, your confidence is at an all-time high.
Some women may find their confidence starts in the bedroom and extends to other areas of their life, where for others, they work on their confidence outside of the bedroom and then proudly wear that self-esteem when having sex. Either way, confidence is confidence!
The Positives of Having Curves
You can look in the mirror right now and pick out 10 trouble spots you want to fix. The first step to turning around your confidence is finding what there is to love about yourself rather than hate. As a plus-sized or fuller-sized woman with curves, there’s quite a lot to love. You just have to be willing to see it in yourself.
Here are some sex-driven benefits that curvy women get to enjoy every time they’re in the bedroom. Reading this section should certainly give you a confidence boost!
You’re Nice to Cuddle With
Your curvy figure is plush, soft, and full. After a bit of a romp with your partner, they may want nothing more than to cuddle up to your body and doze off. You can’t really blame them. Your figure makes you a fantastic cuddle buddy, and who doesn’t want that in a relationship?
There’s Plenty to Hold
Sure, some partners like to hold your hand when having sex, but others want to pull hair and grip body parts (with your consent, of course). You have many parts that are grabbable, such as full hips, a shapely stomach, sizable breasts, not to mention your derriere. Any partner is going to love that about you.
Benefits of Plus Size Sex
Is your partner into breast sex? Perhaps you’re the one who likes it. While it’s true that women of any breast size can pull it off, breast sex is so much more effortless when you have a bigger chest. Your man will feel so blessed to be able to participate in this sex act with you!
Curves Are Sexy
All bodies are beautiful, including yours. Your curves are sexy, and lots of partners, men and women, surely agree. If you by chance happen to get with someone who doesn’t feel that way, then you need to find another person to be with. You should only give your time and your body to someone who will appreciate and respect you.
The next time you look in the mirror and feel like you need to hide your body, assess it from a different viewpoint and try celebrating it instead!
As a curvy woman, you may feel insecure about having sex. You prefer to obscure yourself in darkness, and certain positions make you shy away. With the information in this guide, you’re well on your way to having the best and most confident sex ever no matter your size. Also, check out our article on Being Plus Size and Sexy in the Bedroom. Best of luck!